Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
