I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
