All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize