lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
