And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's the barista slut.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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