I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
