omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
