69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
