Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
