i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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