dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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