wakey wakey hands off snakey
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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