I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
