is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
