Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sober January is a disaster.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize