I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
