Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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