we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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