Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
