I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
