I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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