ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
