$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
