I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
