he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
