it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
