I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
