i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
