Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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