As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
