Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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