I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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