i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
