Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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