You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
