I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
