my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
