his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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