I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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