I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
