help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
