I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
