No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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