no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize