so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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