This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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