I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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