i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
