I just saw a hot homeless man
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
