Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
