So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
