Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
