My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
