If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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