yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
