john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
